r u b b l e

I stopped putting up drafts of my work a long time ago, keeping the journey personal and for myself. I decided I would post the process of this work and compile the process before publishing the final work. It is the rebuilding journey that can be just as encouraging as the final product. (Not seen this side of heaven.)

“God is in the business of rebuilding”. I was reminded today in church (I watched online) that in the past I have thought the rubble of all the things life had thrown at me had been too big to ever imagine it ever look differently. The journey too hard. The fruit too broken. Me being too broken.

For Nehemiah it took 57 days to rebuild the walls.

I like those odds over the years it has taken to be able to have the tools, for others helping in my story to have the skills and knowledge for me to see past this draft artwork of the rubble and stand, gloves on ready to fight.

Rebuilding something out of the rubble and dust has been just one ongoing theme in my work. Usually silently within.

When you face opposition in your healing be prepared to fight. Gods prepared you and strengthened you for such a time as this. When we face opposition, see them as opportunities.
FREE is how he wants us to live. I choose freedom.

I have this on my wall at work from the great poet Rocky Balboa. I added to it.
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t how hard you hit; it’s about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done. Now, if you know what you’re worth, (Jesus died you YOU!) then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that.”

And so the process of this artwork continued.

But to live free also means to let go. And as I started the process of adding vines and added each leaf, each leaf started to be come a moment of forgiveness. As I made the brush mark I started to say outloud the name of a person i was remembering in forgivenss and repeat it as I painted the next leaf and the next. It was an extreemly emotional experience to say the least as I faced my own capacity to forgive and be reminded of those I had forgiven.

And so the story continued into the final artwork 2 0 which is its own post. Just like all our stories that refine and evolve over time so did this artwork.