t e a r s

As a 3ish year old, I was one of ‘those’ wandering children. I had even been picked up by the police once too. As a lost child, not as a delinquent.
This drawing depicts the last time I remember wandering off and my first encounter with God. It was also one of last of my memories of the volatility of my earthy father for many years. My childhood memories of him disappear in the protective hands of God.
I remember the trees being huge, towering over my small frame and they were covered in that heavy brown bark that looks like you could get your fingers in between the chunks and break off, but you can’t. I remember standing in front of the trees looking up at the tree tops, the sun rays filtering through warming my face. This was my in awe moment. My gut moment. The moment I knew that I was not alone. The moment I encountered the presence of God.
It was this experience I wanted to capture in this drawing. The sunlight illuminating the heavy barked trees as the presence of God filled that moment, but as I drew the trees, they didn’t look like bark, instead they were more like tears. I stopped drawing. I looked at what I had started and began to reflect on what had happened after I returned home that day. What I would experience over the years of my life following this day, and I realised that these represented God’s tears.
He knew what my experiences would be after this meeting with him, and although God allowed it all to happen, each one of those experiences, He would use them to shape me. He would also know what I could handle and would protect me, shielding me from the memories of my broken father that he needed.
His tears flowed out of the pain that this broken would would inflict on me, on my fragile body and on my mind. The torrents of sobs I attempted to capture here.
His glory continues to shines.